I had to plunge a toilet due to some significant blockage that had occurred previously to my sitting. As I did this, I flushed and thus -- overflow. A waterfall of "shit water", as we had come to call it, started to pour over the sides, flooding the nearby floor and carpets. I screamed. Bloodcurlingly loud, I called Meredith's name in continuous strides, trying to grasp her attention and thus save the outcome of the toilet.
Finally, Meredith (as well as the others) came to my rescue and we started to clean up the water. There were no feces or used toilet paper in sight, and the water was turned off to that specific toilet. We giggled as we threw down the paper towels, screaming of "that nasty shit water" and nearly throwing up all over each other due to the smell that had overcome Meredith's abode.
There was a dilema. We needed a mop. We searched high and low throughout Meredith's house, but to no avail. So Ophelya (the new gal, remember?), Patsy, and I went four houses down the road to a person who thought we were crazy (we were) and asked for a mop. We plan on returning it tomorrow morning.
Things get weird.
I'm at Meredith's house right now. Patsy is holding my brand new pet deer (still un-named, sadly enough) hostage. Ophelya (a new character, yes... I will make a database of these alter-egos one day... wait and see, people) gave me a pet deer -- in reality, it's a stuffed deer. It's a beanie baby. Even though they all come with a name, I'm not going to follow it. No, no, no sir. I'm going to name it something special. Give me awhile.
I'll write more tomorrow. Really, no joke.
So, Patsy and I created a mixed CD with all of my favorite songs in the world... all of the songs that describe me.
1. Ani DiFranco, "Deep Dish"
2. Green Day, "Brain Stew"
3. Smashing Pumpkins, "Tonight Tonight"
4. A-Ha, "Take on Me"
5. Ben Lee, "Cigarettes Can Kill You"
6. Rocky Horror Picture Show, "Science Fiction Double Feature"
7. The Wallflowers, "Sleepwalker"
8. Elvis Costello, "Veronica"
9. Ani DiFranco, "Hello Birmingham"
10. Bjork, "In the Musicals"
11. U2, "Where the Streets Have No Name"
12. Sleater-Kinney, "You're No Rock and Roll Fun"
13. Radiohead, "Paranoid Android"
14. Eve 6, "Open Road Song"
15. The Beatles, "Help"
It's sheer irony that the day that Patsy gets a watch, mine is broken. Yes, I broke my new watch because I cannot remember that waterproof and water subermergable are two different things that have very different meanings to them. And, of course, when I am in a ("heated", they lie) pool and going nine feet down under, the watch will tend to fuck up. Everyone, please take note: not water submergable. Do not buy this watch if you plan on going swimming. Buy one of these if you want to go swimming. (By the way, I really like this one.)
So, today I am going out to lunch with Patsy and Meredith. Then, we are going over to Patsy's house for the evening. We're eating a scrumptious meal at Applebee's, then we're renting a few good movies at the movie rental place of choice, and then we'll be making our mixed CDs. I plan on having a very big list of songs on my mixed CD. I'll give you the lowdown on my list tomorrow, when I return to my homestead.
So that's is all that is going on in my life. But before I leave you, I would like to present you with a moment of Zen. G'day, all.
"Happy birthday!" was Frosty the Snowman's first words, spoken on December 25. Two days later, another infamous huggable creature will say the same thing. This person is Patsy.
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday--yy--yy to--oo-oo yo---ooo--uuuu
In the course of two hours, I have learned that:
1, "Fred's" girlfriend is no longer considered "Fred's" girlfriend. So I will go back to her original name as amnesia chick. (If you don't remember this alter-ego, then please feel free to search between the months of July and August in the archives.)
2, I am going swimming today against my own free will.
Talk to you all later.
I've been thinking an "about me" page for this site. Really, I've been pondering it all very deeply. I've promised Meredith in the past that I would also create a small database of who the hell everyone is that I mention, just for the "newbies" (ie, everyone except for Tom and everyone I know personally) to be clued in on who Meredith or Patsy or He is. Understandable purpose.
So, I don't know about this page for me. I was thinking of going along the FAQ sort of ordeal. So if you are curious about anything about me (upbringing, religious views, my underwear patterns), then please feel free to either email me or anonymously (sort of - I mean, I get your phone number out of it, but it's not like I'm going to waste a calling card to call anybody back) give me a ring-ding-ding on the voicemail. The number is 8777087846, x 957. I need ideas, folks.
There's nothing better than self-love.
Now, don't think all perverted on me. What I meant is that there's nothing better than to shop for oneself. I shopped for myself today and bought myself a few late Christmas presents that I had been eyeing for awhile and finally had the urge to get. With $60 in my wallet and three friends by my side, we conquered the mall. And the local Best Buy. And it felt good to be around my friends and just acting stupid. And we just made it all joyous. Today was perhaps the best thing thus far to come of my Christmas break. It seemed like there was never a moment that things seemed wrong or different.
OK, the gifts. I had a $20 gift certificate for the Gap, and I wanted it out of my hands. So I bought slippers. Big fuzzy slippers that are so comfortable that you seem to bounce as you walk. We then went over to Barnes and Noble and I got some Godiva chocolate-- I can't live without the yumminess! And before all of this occurred, I went to Best Buy and purchased two CDS: Björk's Selmasongs and Green Day's Insomniac. Yeah, I'll be set for awhile.
I was awaken at 7 am to come out and open presents. And open we did -- with my father and mother sitting on the couch, they watched their three children sit side-by-side in our bathrobes and smiley-face boxers. We sat there for fifteen minutes and opened each present, making a quirk about each and everyone of them... it's one of those magical family moments.
With that said, I have decided to do something. I have made a list of the gifts I gave and recieved from my friends. I have also decided, for future's sake, to include a list of gifts that Santa has brought me. Just for my future reference, people.
ø A Beatles lunchbox and t-shirt (to Kelly)
ø A lovely little beta fish (to Patsy)
ø A strobelight (to Meredith)
ø A piece of artwork (to "Fred")
ø A mini version of the old game Operation (to "Fred's" girlfriend)
ø A large stuffed leopard (to Him)
ø Cookies (to His parents)
ø A piece of artwork (to my aunt)
ø Up Up Up Up Up Up (from Kelly; awesome cd)
ø The movie Carrie (from Megan; made my day)
ø The 25th anniversary edition of Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack (from Whitney; my dad and I sing along to it)
ø The Fuck-Up by A. Nersesian (from "Fred"; awesome book)
ø A water-globe-thing (from Him; beautiful)
ø A candle (from His mother)
ø A candle (from my aunt)
ø A watch and t-shirt (from another aunt)
ø A laptop holder (from my grandmother; the laptop didn't fit, so my mom's going to use it)
ø A GAP gift certificate and socks (from another aunt)
ø Living in Clip by Ani DiFranco -- CD
ø The Joshua Tree by U2 -- CD
ø Breach by The Wallflowers -- CD
ø She by Saul Williams -- book
ø Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs -- book
ø Girl, Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen
ø American Beauty and 200 Cigarettes
ø Cow-designed car seat covers and hubcaps
ø A tape player for my car
ø ADIDAS shoes
ø Scrunchies, socks, and mittens
ø JNCO jeans
Merry Christmas, everyone. May you feel the love that you deserve.
In the words of Dickens' Tiny Tim, "God bless us, everyone."
And there won't be snow in Africa / This Christmas time / The greatest gift they'll get this year is life / Where nothing ever grows / No rain nor rivers flow / Do they know it's Christmas time at all?
- Band Aid, "Do They Know it's Christmas?"
NORAD tracks Santa once again - Stories like this make me want to cry for joy. It's good to know that somewhere, someone still has the Christmas spirit.