My hair is in pigtails. I'm listening to Ani DiFranco via the laptop, and watching the local news. My whole body is posed in this refurnished chair, and I am settled in an "indian style" position upon a fluffy red pillow which is on the seat of the chair. The words of "To The Teeth" are echoing through the computer's small speakers, and the light whisper of the TV is in the background. I am relatively comfortable, and I might be able to make it a full night without sleeping. Of course, everytime I say that, it never happens and I end up falling asleep in the five minutes following the writing of this post. But, no, I shall not fall to such great lows! No, not Diana! I shall be strong and stay awake to watch "Saturday Night Live", and then maybe some of that god-awful MTV. Just something besides sleeping for once, you know? I only need an estimated six hours of sleep to fully satisfy me in the morning. Or perhaps less. I might have to experiment that in the future.
I got an email from "Judy" this morning: I don't know what's going on...I think things might be ok. I guess I'll have to see on Monday. Sorry if your evening sucked because of me and ["Fred"]. God knows I didn't want it to be like that!
I talked to "Fred" a few minutes ago and he said that he and "Judy" broke up, and now he's single and in mourning, somewhat. "Judy" is MIA in Summerville, South Carolina, and from whatever kind of gossip I have heard, amnesia chick has this new boyfriend. It's all a little bit odd to me, I guess, now that the tables have somewhat turned a slight bit. I'm just kind of tired right now, but I want to stay up and watch "Saturday Night Live". I want to sit and listen to "American Pie" again. That song is so good that it's somewhat a shame that Madonna did a cover of it, you know? Then again, Madonna left out all the verses that had to do with the death of Buddy Holly, whom the song was originally dedicated to. (I still think, to this very day, that "Dear Jessie" and "Human Nature" are the best songs that Madonna has ever done.)
I went shopping, and it turned out as just what I needed. And best yet, I bare gifts for a few indivisuals. When they will get these gifts, I myself do not know. I bought few things for myself, however. It was sort of half-and-half, I suppose. I got To The Teeth (Ani DiFranco), the April 1999 copy of "Esquire" magazine (because it contained an article on Sleater-Kinney), a sweater, Don McLean's version of "America Pie" on a record, Fiddler on the Roof soundtrack on record, and the book The Enormous Room by E. E. Cummings. As for what the gifts are, you all will find out as soon as She and Patsy get theirs -- I mean, they do read this, anyway.
I'm going Goodwill shopping tomorrow. I hope to try to get some stuff for Halloween, whatever I shall be. I'm going trick-or-treating this year, just to bring out my youthful spirit again. And we'll stop by Ex's house and give him hugs, then leave promptly and go to a cemetary late at night, and then go home and eat candy until sunrise. Last year's Halloween was so exhausting, but I want to make a good bit of fun out of this one, you know? Next year won't be as fun, considering that we'll be able to drive at the time and all -- and stuff like that.
Oh, yeah, and I need to over-come my Rollercoaster Tycoon habit. It's driving me crazy.
I used to have respect for this one gal. She was funny, smart, and kind. I guess that changed when she got into drugs, and started hanging around other people as soon as she entered high school. Yeah, it hurt everyone that was close to her. Yeah, it still does.
I heard her last night. We were all walking again, and we heard her laughter at an apartment, in a drunk rage. Everyone was loud, and not really silent for long periods. Her, Patsy, this other girl, and I sat there on the edge of a big cement block, listening to their laughter, to their "coolness" that they so wished to possess. I'm not saying that I am cool -- it's just that she's done the wrong things in the past.
We past a house that was toilet-papered. I suspect that the drunks were the cause of it. The house was still like that this morning.
Marvelous piece going on there.
I'm going to Her house tonight for movies. I'll write more later.
Well, isn't this a bitch. According to the Blogger people, there is an email going around from the address ShysterAll@aol.com with the subject of "hahaha.. this is the funniest blogger images in the world!!" Don't ask how Blogger images can be funny -- they just are. But this virus has not one, not two, but 113 capabities to fickle over your computer. Beware, people -- don't want anybody burned.
"I'm on the edge of my coma." - Colbert
It's freezing as hell in my room, and it doesn't help much that every piece of furniture in here is metallic. Jesus, it's like a goddamn igloo in here.
I think I should keep you up to date upon my life. "Fred" and "Judy" are being bitches towards each other, and (I think) "Fred" is angry at me, and "Judy" needs all the support she can get -- so she comes to me and Him. See, "Judy" expects that amnesia chick is dating "Fred" behind her back, which is quite amnesia-chick-ish, since the actual chances of amnesia chick being trusted are very slim. Plus, she already hates me, so I'm already siding with "Judy". I'm not that difficult to please.
Halloween is coming up. I have yet to fully decide on my plans (they will involve Patsy, Him, and Her, I'm sure) or my ensemble this year. Either way, there will be photographs to please everyone out there with. She is going to be an FBI agent, that's for sure. As for the rest of us -- it's unclear. And the only way that we'll be able to drag Him along is that if we promise to stop by Ex's house for a nice surprise. I want to be something sexual this year, but -- like I said -- it's too damn cold outside to be wearing a French maid outfit or whatnot. Plus, I'm too American-looking for that ordeal. And I have a small bust.
His birthday -- as well as Her's -- are coming up, too. I have no idea what to get either of them, because there is just something inside of me wanting to buy something completely and utterly stupid. I have an idea of what to possibly buy Her, and it won't be too difficult to figure it all out. As for Him, things get complicated. His birthday is in October, Hers is in November, and Patsy's is in December... and mine is, uh, all the way in April. Damn, I feel so young. He will get his license before anybody else that I know well -- minus, of course, "Fred", whom already drives, and perhaps even amnesia chick -- and then it'd be followed by Her. Chances are, I won't get my license right away -- I'll be too afraid to drive. My car hates me, anyway. It shut itself off as I was going down the driveway -- and I just kind of let it go... I mean, it was just funny, anyway.
We fixed a little bit of my car last night, just the basic air filter work, spark plugs, and that ever-so-bugging ordeal with the driver's side backup light. There are eight screws holding those lights in there -- in comparison to the big-ass Chrysler New Yorker, which only uses two. The car has been having problems starting up lately, and I just wish it would work once for me and not have me be sitting in the passenger seat because I couldn't control the car itself. It's tears my ego apart, I guess. Not so sure.
So a few people (ie, amnesia chick, "Fred", and "Judy") think that I'm still going out of town. It was the original idea, anyway: my parents were going to drag my younger brother and myself off to Clemson, South Carolina, to watch a football game. Not entirely my piece of cake. So my parents cancelled on Monday, and didn't tell me until yesterday morning. At this point, I had mentioned to everyone (including amnesia chick, who was having a party) that I was going out of town, and thus have only told the honest truth of the situation to Patsy, Her, Him, and a vague few others. And what do I plan to do with my weekend? On Thursday or Friday night (since we don't have school on Friday... joy), Patsy, She (perhaps?) and I are having a John Cusack party. Then I think She is having an "XFiles" get-together on Friday or Saturday. And then I'll see Him on Sunday, since he has all this sailing/music stuff going on until then. So I'll post during the weekend, I just won't be available on Instant Messenger due to the fact that, well, I'm supposed to be out of town. And I don't need amnesia chick angry at me again.
I haven't been "all there". No, it's not some weird hiatus from the Internet -- I'm still online. It's just that sometimes, I lack words to describe how I'm feeling. Which, in this case, is happening quite more than I expected. As if there were little blips in my mind or whatnot. There's a big discussion going on between amnesia chick, Him, "Fred", and "Judy". I'm not getting involved, even though I'm one of the main characters. "Fred" is mad at Him because He lied to "Judy" about something about me. Not exactly sure what, though. I'm was disappointed at "Fred" and Him for lying to me and saying that nothing was wrong. Amnesia chick, as far as I know, has something against me, and perhaps Him. I don't know. I don't see how amnesia chick forgives Him for his (worse) sins whereas it takes her days to even think of forgiving me. Guess it shows the hate factor there, eh?
As for other news, there is very little. Minus the three-way ordeal (stop thinking perverted) between Her, Patsy, and this guy. Who will declare their love first? I personally -- deep down inside -- think neither or both should say something, and not just Her and not just Patsy. Because, well, that's wrong.
Oh, yeah, and it's freezing outside. I hate whatever season this is.
Dave Matthews Band, "Crash"
You've got your ball
you've got your chain
tied to me tight tie me up again
who's got their claws
in you my friend
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you
This interview with Fred Roger is an excellent read, despite how short the article actually is. I used to watch "Mr Roger's Neighborhood" when I was younger, because I was fascinating in how someone could have so much energy. As I grew older, I realized more about him: that he was aging, that he was a clergyman, that I was maturing and the show itself stayed the same. It seems as if everything has changed, and yet the show itself stayed in the same state of mind as it had 31 years ago. I wish everything was like that. I wish everything stayed the same.
I finished Go Ask Alice. In the introduction of the book, it says that the book itself isn't supposed to change your mind about anything -- that's rather reasonable. The writer of the actual journals died three weeks after she had written her last entry. It's kind of sad, thinking about all that she went through. She got into drugs, ran away twice, put into a mental institution, and got nagged just for the simple reason that she got out of everything. I never realized that it hurt so much to try to change for the better. I guess it kind of goes back to what I said about "Mr Roger's Neighborhood": thing shouldn't change. I guess there are just some things that need to change, and some things that shouldn't. Perhaps the book itself should just be read.
Then again, my opinion -- as will everything else -- may change someday.
I really don't know what to think of my father sometimes. The first words out of his mouth this morning were not "good morning" or even a "hello", but rather "Diana, you got to clean the downstairs and wash your car today. You have things to do." Good god, father, I know I have things to do, including homework. It just seems stupid to remind me that I have things to do when I know that I have that and more.
I'm just kind of frustrated by the lack of manners that everyone in my family has.