The laptop is mine. All mine. It doesn't have the internet connection hooked up yet (the version we have is for a 3.1 version of Windows, whereas the laptop is equipted with 98 version of Windows), but I have been able to edit a few photos of mine via the graphic editor. (Which is used for this layout-- don't worry, if you come by in months, it'll be the same ordeal.) I might start having to write my things really early in the morning, or real late at night, or else on this (big) computer.
Today, I rented a movie. Man on the Moon, again, after I couldn't find A Clockwork Orange (Which I had heard from numerous sources was an excellent film) or Go. I might finish the movie I rented tonight, that way Patsy and I can go out and rent movies tomorrow. We might have a Diana-called "Burton-o-thon", which is when we just sit there with a big bowl of popcorn and watch Tim Burton films throughout the night. It also depends on whether or not She can come, because then it'd be more of a humorous occasion.
I also went to His house. He has lived in the same house on the same street for a great quantity of his life. There are three main pieces to the house: the toolshed (a big place in the backyard), the actual house (4 bedrooms, really tight-knit), and a shed, which is on the side of the house. The shed is where we (Him, His younger brother, and myself) explored today. See, it's a house. A one-bedroom house with one bathroom, a tiny, tiny living room, and a kitchen. The washer and dryer are outside. It was painted a faded lime green color on the outside, and on the inside, there was a step to go up in order to reach the living room (possibly an 8x8 space, but I'm terrible with numbers) and the kitchen. The kitchen and the living room were separated by this wall with a big square hole in it. The kitchen's stove was outdated, and the sink was hidden under piles of junk.
I loved it.
I've always wanted to live somewhere where all I had to put in there was a futon, a computer, and a plant, in order for me to have full bliss. Add a stereo of some sort, and it was pure heaven. This place, if it weren't located in His backyard, would be my dreamhouse. I could imagine myself cleaning it out, putting a large photograph of an eye on the wall, and a futon in the living room, a laptop resting on a small coffee table, a plant in the corner, and (maybe) a small tv resting in the corner, with a stereo underneath it. In the bedroom would be my supplies. Every piece of art I do would be in there, ready to be fixed or sold. If Patsy lived there with me, we'd sit there on the futon late at night, watching reruns of "The Daily Show" and talking about how bitchy we were in high school, now that we'd look back on it. She would live down the road somewhere. He, of course, would still be living at home. (It's expected.) He would bring us a newspaper in the morning. No, better yet, USA Today. And The Onion, for that matter. There'd be copies of poetry everywhere, and everyone would live happy and content.
Of course I really want to get out of Georgia. But, for now, for today, I'm just going to think about that house in His backyard, calling my name.
Happy birthday, Vance.
I really wish I had the ability to stay up all night. But since I didn't get much sleep during the week (personal problems, I guess), it's really hard for me to keep my eyes open. So She and I are sitting here at our houses, on the computer, chatting through Instant Messenger about how each of us are hallucinating over things. It's more of a sick and twisted thing than a cute and humble one. Oh, yeah, and since I have no clue as to what to expect for the rest of the week, I will probably need energy in case if "Fred" decides to stop by at 8 AM or Patsy wants to run through the WalMart parking lots in shopping carts at 2 PM, or He wants to go out to brunch around 11 AM. I guess I got to be prepared for anything.
So what did I learn today? I learned that 1) RPM (the music store) is my form of a heaven, 2) That wearing plastic pants in 90 degree heat while you are stuck in a school with no air conditioning is a major no-no, 3) People around here (especially older people) are very nice towards three girls who enjoy waving frantically and putting whipped cream on their noses, and 4) She, Patsy, and I are pretty fucking awesome.
Yes, number four was an egobooster for myself. And maybe just to make it seem more girl-powered and less insightful. Maybe I'll end every entry with a ziggazagha, or whatever. Or maybe Geri Halliwell's pinkish grin. Depends on which can be scarier, I guess.
Oh, yeah, and spinnwebe.com (a beauty of a website) is getting ready for a comeback, and I'm already getting sqeamish thinking about it. Which thus made me go back to egomaniac.nu, which lead me to the now-defunct seksay.com and via the dot com webring, to where I first met the idea of blogger: dinette, where I hung around like a whore in the now-non existant (as far as I know) Chihuaha Chronicles UBB and at all of the hip hostees that mingled in, and how I always wanted to be rubbing elbows with Nathan, who was one of my most memorable. Yeah, I was a cool chick back then. I actually went outside. Damn you, Blogger, for tying me down to write about my life stories of starting out, and how my childhood was, and all of those weird thoughts and ideas. Damn it, damn it , damn it.
I'll never be lucky enough to have my own laptop. Sort of. I'm kind of hoping that everyone starts to realize that the laptop sucks (or at least to them) and that I will be the sole owner of this lovely piece of machinery... ahh... all woozy.
As for plans tomorrow, there are none. Maybe trying to watch a DVD on this laptop here. It's got a DVD player, obviously, and lots of other gadgets and gizmos, and perhaps is a little stronger than the computer that I am currently on. I feel so techie, but in a flaky, oh-my-god-i'm-a-mirror-image-of-megnut-sort-of-thing. But I don't know. I like laptops.
Well, I wore the leather pants to school today, and nearly sweated off my legs doing so. The shoes I wore with them (these nifty ones I got from Goodwill) awhile ago weren't too bad. They were actually quite comfortable. But I had to almost literally peel the pants off me this afternoon, because the insides of them were wet as anything from all the sweat that has collected all day.
Oh, and I bought a new cd today. Patsy, Her, and I went downtown again and I bought Hello Nasty, Patsy bought an Elvis Costello album, and She got the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack. And then afterwards, we went to Starbuck's again, where I got some fruit drink called Tazoberry, with raspberry juice and blended black tea. Or so it says.
Oh, yeah, and my mom got two laptops. Both were supposedly hit by lightning, and it only has affected one of them majorly. The other, a Dell, is actually very nice. It has a .GIF animator on it, so maybe I can make nicer designs in the future... that is, if I ever got used to the mouse thing on it. As for the other one... I have claimed it. I'm wanting desperately to get it fixed so it can be just mine. I'm sort of dedicated to the project.
And, well, now I'm going to go out to eat with my parents.
The air conditioners do not work in my school. I think they do this purposely so the grrls (and boys) who decide to wear leather to school will have severe heat strokes in the midst of class. Oh, yeah, and they removed all the pigeons that lived in the third floor, so there is no joy left for roaming the hallways early in the morning. There were three of them, too.
OK, about last night. My cousin is getting married. It's in the end of October, the day before His birthday. My cousin, Tammy, is marrying this chick. Yes, it's a lesbian marriage. No, they're not legal for where she lives. It's more of a "union" thing than anything else. I met my cousin once or twice in my life, and I don't recall ever meeting the other lady. My family is still thinking of whether or not we should go to the wedding. One of the reasons we might not go is because we don't know who would be there. My dad brought up some uncle in the family, Ralph or Raymond or something. My aunt (my dad's sister) divorced him, so I guess he's an ex-uncle. Anyway, this (ex-)uncle of mine is Tammy's real father. The reason for Tammy's parents' divorce is because my aunt came home one day and my (ex-)uncle was lying on the bed in a cat position, purring. When my aunt asked what he was doing, he replied with a "Tom is basking himself." His name is not Tom. My father never actually saw him do anything catlike except eat or drink out of a bowl.
I never knew my dad's side of the family that well, but I'll try my best to give you the background on them all. My father is the second-oldest child, and the first son. (Thus, that's why he is named after his father.) My dad's older sister is a 5th grade teacher who likes to talk to puppets, who everyone thinks I resemble, and yet I don't see it. My dad's other brothers (there are two others) are younger. One of them is an ex-Marine, and the younger is a bouncer at a stripbar. My dad's other sisters (also two others) are both nurses. Two of my aunts (the teacher and a nurse) and one of my uncles (the bouncer) live with my grandmother, who's kind of going crazy. She's 68 years old, and wants to die at age 69 because it's always been her "favorite number".
And as for my mom's side.... we'll do that one another day.
Well, there's an OBloggie awards... which I think is a very interesting topic. I have a few choices on who I would vote for on the miscellaneous topics mentioned. Particularly The Breast Chronicles for the obvious Most Outstanding Breasts, Oh Messy Life's entry as Best Single Entry, Ben Brown as, of couse, Best Fashion Sense, 2xy.org as Best Soundtrack, slinky as Best Storyteller, someone besides me for Best Teenage Blogger (really), Fairvue Central for Best Design, and Powazek.com for Lifetime Achievement. Of course, none of my votes will end up being sent, but I felt it was good giving my opinion. (I'll probably change my mind overnight. You know how it goes.)
I signed up for MeetTeens.com, and it couldn't have been the worst thing I could've done. Yeah, I got lots of hits from it, but then I also got perverts sending me IMs asking for photos and stuff. I mean, I made one friend out of it all (A grrl from Colorado), and then there were the other perverts that decided to show their little faces on my IM windows, asking for pics of me in naughty positions. Which isn't going to happen.
But, anyway, I have a few other things to mention. But I'm not going to mention them yet. Let's just say it has to do with a marriage, a person who thinks he's a cat, and, uhm, other things. I can't think right now. I'm really tired.
I got my permit, if you remember, on May 12, 2000. The last time that I nearly-sucessfully started the car was on July 31, 2000, which was the day I fainted. And now, my wonderful red car is missing a valuable piece: a battery. Turns out, the battery had rotted away, and it needed to be taken out (as well as a few wires next to it, which had also been effective.), which has been done. I mean, I love driving. It gives me this sense of being someone else, I guess, because I feel as if I can get away from things by doing it. Not like I have much experience to base this on (I've driven on a major highway once, and crossed only at two highly-populated stoplights. Oh, yeah, and almost got in a car crash.), but still. I like driving.
I also taught Patsy about the game of BUZZ, and everytime she had to say it, she went around in circles (sort of), as if she was some deranged fly. The game didn't last long, because we kind of ended up messing up a lot on what numbers we were on, and stuff. It was actually kind of interesting in first period, doing that. And in third, we just kind of sat there and made some play-dough stuff with glue, laundry detergent, and water. Quite fascinating.
Sigh. Arguing again. But, then again, whodathunk? This time, it was over the guilt factor, and how I took the blame for everything because, well, I never wanted to see him sad. I know that we both messed this up, so we (hopefully) plan on working it out together. Still, I have this urge to buy myself a rose and carry it around with me today.
So I modeled today for Drawing class, 2nd period. I faced the criticism that I heard from my perch three feet off the ground. I had just finished a 16 oz cappachino, and I wanted to just run around screaming things, but I was forced to sit still for 45 minutes, on a nice little barstool, my eyes fixed on Her drawing of me, and tapping my fingers continuously in the space between my kneecaps. My hair was a mess today, too. I decided to go for the anti-styling products, anti-fully-brushed-hairdo look today. Bad idea, since everyone was complaining about that. And my nose, so Patsy says. On Friday (since I don't have that class tomorrow), the class is drawing a guy. Which is going to be harder for me, personally, to draw. I could never draw a guy.
So, what is on tonight's schedule for Diana? I might watch a movie and finish my science project. And put glitter on a pair of pants to further satisfy my urges of being "different", as if there was such a thing anymore. But, you know, whatever. Putting glitter on my pants is something that I call amusing. I might watch some really tacky movie that I haven't seen for awhile... maybe The Babysitter's Club, or Men in Black. Or SpiceWorld, because, well, I own it. And it looks kind of lonely just sitting there in a colorful, teenage-girl-friendly box. It looks tempting.
By the way, I can not express how much of a follower I am of reading weblogs, journals, pitas, etc. And come September 13th, believe it or not, I would've had a weblog/journal for one year. That's not saying it was always here, at Tripod. Or run by Blogger. No, no, no. It was at Angelfire (until the banners came), Dork.com, and then finally at scribble.nu. Which, actually, all have treated me good and made me remember the good times. On the 13th, I might share links. You never really know, I guess. And you will, thus, learn the real names of Him, Her, and Patsy. As well as "Judy" and "Fred". I would have added Ex's name, but if you had paid attention, then you would've know that it's easily accessible. And if you can figure out, from the information given, where he lives and his phone number, I will love you forever. (I want to prove to him one day that he puts too much information on his website.) By the way, about Ex. I never told him about the "150 hits" thing. I never got around to it. Maybe I will, you know, when he decides that I'm on his almighty "cool list" of people again.
Oh, and before I end this, I want to mention the beautiful, and yet simple, redesign of the-inbetween.com. It couldn't have been better.
Search engine requests found in my referrals: kim mathers picture, hair dye pictures, coyote ugly lyrics The Right Kind Of Wrong, coyote ugly song lyrics, ticklish Britney, geek dork nerd, skimpy shorts, cammoflauge, Coyote Ugly lyrics, Ollie mtv, tanned brunette, cellphone numbers, sting's desert rose, sarah mclachlan lawsuit, and finally, sifl and ollie. (This entry will be updated regularly.)
Well, everyone expected it to happen. The Couple is... well, a couple. I mean, I'm happy we worked it all out, but there's still something missing from it all... like that extra oompf we had is temporarily out of order. Which can be the case, because we're going through "hard times" (if I only knew what they were, at least) and we don't know what to do. So we're just freestyling it all, because, frankly, neither of us are being serious in Round Five. (Just to keep up, I broke up with him on January 3, again before -- or after -- Valentine's, he broke with me once, and then I broke up with him, and then I did it again. I suffer from doubts.)
As for everything else in my life... well, there is nothing, besides the fact that I spoke to Ex again yesterday. It started out calmly, and then we decided to let the bitchslaps happen. And, actually, they did. Fairly quickly this time... thirty minutes. I'm thinking of pulling off a Hackers-esque thing and sending his false information to a homosexual love connection website. Wouldn't that be fun? ("Disappointed white male, cross-dresses, looking for discreet friend to bring dreams to reality. Leather, lace, & water sports, transvestites welcome." - A. J.)
Oh, yeah, and I'm tired. My eyes are droopy, my hair is going in millions of directions, and my pants are all glittery. (Experimentations occurred last night while I was working on my now-finished science project. It's damn-fine, too. So sexy, that animal cell is.) And people are saying that I'm "that girl with the thong" at school, whereas, yes, I do own thongs. No, I don't wear them every day because, to be quite honest, they're the most uncomfortable form of undergarments available. The only time I wear them is when I wear a skirt, and that's not a big deal, is it? I swear, I wish people thought that there were more interesting things going around school than the fact that I'm the one wearing a thong every other month. That actually kind of pisses me off, you know? But I'm ok. Really, I am.
Oh, yeah, and I didn't do any of my other homework last night. Oops.
So I'm working on a project for school. A cell. An animal cell, to be more correct. My family and I went as a family to go to WalMart to get what we needed in order to have a nice project that's due on Thursday. On top of that, we all ate as a family... at a McDonald's, while groovy 1970s music chimed in the background. And my brother just had to get one of those N Sync/Britney Spears CDs, which doesn't look as interesting as everyone depicts it as. But, anyway, my parents are at the store, and I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt to cover up the writing fiasco that Patsy had written on my arms. (One of the interesting points on the arm is "cash register", written very pretty on my right-hand wrist.)
School today sort of was a mix between a coffee buzz and being shot in my left arm. I felt sort of useless in His eyes as we took a walk through the field during lunch, because it was just so anti-Diana that I kind of never wanted to sit down again. I felt sort of... sick, I guess. It's all confusing to really handle, but I'm trying.
As for the coffee buzz, it happened after lunch. During 5th period, when Patsy and I criticized "Judy" from across the room. I also got a small buzz in 2nd period, when I offered to be the model for a drawing thing tomorrow. I'm kind of excited, actually.
Oh, yeah, and I've decided to wear the nice leather pants tomorrow, because I feel as if I deserve an egoboost for myself. Even though, you know, I'll sweat to death. But that's ok. I guess.
Ignore this, I'm not making sense.
T-t-t-t-touch me, I want to be dirty...
We talked last night, and things are going to be settled in a few days' time. Yes, we'll be known as The Couple again, and everything else. But for now, for today, I'm still just Diana, and He is still... well, Him. And we both have got to get our lives intact before we go off being together again. I know this all sounds really cheesy and flaky, but it's actually just honesty at its prettiest. But, anyway, that's what is going on with that. I really hope everything clears up soon, or else I might end up going crazy.
Besides that, nothing else. Three friends of mine stopped by yesterday evening and we sat out on the back porch until they decided to drive off. It really sucks that I can't drive yet. My father took the battery out of my car because it was rotting out everything, so I need to wait awhile to get a new one. My father is also working on my older brother's car, which is now is in his possession. And I really do hate that car, because the alarm sets itself, and it's so damn loud. I did that yesterday, while I was looking at the car with my dad (father-daughter bonding) and I felt I needed to sit down, so I tried to open the door. And the thing is, the garage made it echo, so it was louder than expected. I really do hate that car.
"Judy" has written a few things in her journal lately that have actually pissed me off more than expected. Obviously, she knew about Him and I (and asked 200 questions about it all), and decided to take the opportunity to show off her very own "Fred". I wonder if he likes being her puppet. I might have to ask him one day. I love him, I've loved him for 8 months out of 9, we have something spectacular together, and I plan to keep it!, she wrote. Maybe once He and I get back together (and we won't be stupid enough to "hug around the waist" and say "screw Tuesday" or whatever.), she'll shut up about "Fred". I really just wish she'd leave everyone alone.
Me: I don't want us to do this. I don't want us to do this, because I know we'll grow farther apart.
Him: Well, I'm not blaming you at all. I'm blaming the one who needs it.
Me: We're going to end up distancing apart after a week... and then we'll stop dating. I don't want to
stop. I don't want to leave all that we have had behind. I don't want to go crazy and screaming and
crying on the bus again. I don't want to do any of this.
Yes, if you can't tell from the conversations, Him and I broke up. "Temporarily", maybe shorter. Maybe longer. Both ways, it still hurts. We had so much, and yet I treated it as trash and as if it was useless to be dating Him. My parents told me to do it, and they forced me into it, and then I did it. And I regret it.
I don't want to talk about it.
Oh, yes, and happy 16th birthday to you, Mark, riothero, whatnot. (You never linked to me, anyway. I'm kind of pessimistic.)
Link to me, you know you want to (Rawr):
Well, well, well. "Judy" and "Fred" are a couple again, after their less-than-a-week breakup which I thought would last far longer than expected. But, no. "Judy" wrote this today: But then, things got a lot better. I'm guessing the seperation thing was driving him as crazy as it was me, because he came up and put his arm around my waist, and then pulled me into a hug. He goes, screw Tuesday. We need to talk, though. And I was like, I know. I was so happy to be back in his arms!! ARGHHHH! Later on, Lydia was messing with me, and he's like, 'WHAT are you doing with your hands on MY girlfriend??' Being all posessive. I LOVE that. Last night, I also got the plush opportunity to speak to "Judy", and one of the first words out of her mouth was that they weren't broken up yet, and how she was going over to his house today, and how they were going on some form of a date next weekend. Then she asked how He was doing, calling Him a stupid nickname that no one is actually supposed to call him. (Actually, that's false, because She and Patsy call Him that sometimes, but "Judy" calls Him that all the time.) So, I start letting everything out saying that I haven't talked to him since Friday at lunch, I won't go over to his house to do cutesy things (Which I didn't, by the way.), and we won't go on dates because we never have, and never will. And what does she do? She says she understands. "Judy" can't understand how we don't go on dates. She can't understand how it is to have a boyfriend who doesn't like to read, or doesn't send flowers, or doesn't surprise them as often as they really wish to be. It's pointless to argue with her. So I got offline, saying that "I would say something I would regret", and went into my room and blasted Sleater-Kinney. I was fuming.
But, and this is a big but here, I ever did tell "Judy" how I felt about her, it would mostly concern her lack of grasping the "real world"-non cliche way of life. She doesn't seem to understand that proms are not worth a freaking page of writing, or that "Fred" deserves to be mentioned in every single writing, and that if I'm such a "close friend" and never mentioned besides for when I redesign her scribble.nu website for her with little photos of dragons and pretty shades of blue. And that you can't feel "coffee-shoppish" and if you actually want people to feel sorry for you, you have to actually act intellectual.
Of course, I am not one to speak. I slip up a lot of the time saying things that are pointless and stupid and immature. But, then again, I am not afraid to use word "nipple" in public. And I don't go around sucking/humping/touching/whatever my boyfriend's miscellaneous body parts while wearing a "What Would Jesus Do?" bracelet attached to my arm. Then again, if she ever saw this entry, I would probably say that "Fred" and "Judy" were another cool-guy-dumb-girl couple. I wonder if she would believe that.
Ten more things to be happy about:
the nickname "Boo Boo"
the rip-p-p of a zipper
Luv ya!, Diana (Sorry, I'm just humoring someone.)
Blog math: Fairview Capital - Videos + Virtual University Enterprises = A splendid idea
Hehe. Took me awhile.
If I had a webcamera, you would've seen me:
Singing (with enthusiasm) to "This is Halloween"
Repeatedly itching my neck
Breaking a pair of earphones
Stick pens in my nostrils and giggling
Sucking on a rubbery-tasting rubber band
If I were a male, I would want to look like a mix between Evan and Mark.
Whereas, if I was a cartoon, I'd want to look like Buttercup.
However, if I was a male cartoon, I'd want to be Trent... or Brak. (Speaking of, that Daria movie, "Is It Fall Yet?", airs tonight at 7 PM. Got to remember to watch it.)
Congratulations to electricbiscuit.com for reaching the 20,000 hits mark.