I don't know if I should really be typing now, considering I haven't had a good, restful sleep in 24 hours. Last night was spent at Her house. It was Her, Patsy, me, and two other girls. Our evening consisted of "The X Files", talking about life, and music videos. Around 6 AM, we went outside to watch a sunrise. I don't know, it gave me this sense of empowerment, I guess.
I feel really dizzy.
Blue eyed boy
and this brown eyed girl
The sweetest thing
You can sew it up
But you still see the tear
The sweetest thing
- U2, "Sweetest Thing" (Full Lyrics)
I don't see why we watch these stupid award shows. Is it to show off the $5,000 Versace dress, or the Gucci sweatshirt that was just the perfect thing to go with the leather pants? It seems as if these award shows are all about fashion. I mean, Sarah Jessica Parker (2000 host of the MTV Movie Awards) had (approximately) fourteen outfits. I barely have one!
Maybe these award shows are an ego boost -- just to show that someone does pay that $8.50 to see a movie, $12.00 to buy a CD, or nearly even $50.00 to go see RENT in the theatre. I don't know. Maybe I just know that I won't be the fabulous star walking down the red carpet.
Ever since I got the latest issue of Yahoo! Internet Life in the mail, I've been hanging out at DotComGuy.com (Yes, DotComGuy is his legal name.) and watching his webcameras. See, unlike other webcameras, this one is online all the time because DotComGuy is online all the time. See, he is spending a year in his house -- no leaving whatsoever, and no phone use. He buys his groceries from the Internet, buys his furniture from the Internet, buys everything from the Internet. The farthest he can go is his backyard. That has to be hard.
I watched Batman last night. Not only was it a good movie, but someone in it made it better. Weirdly enough, this person was Jerry Hall. She has this exotic beauty to her that reminds me fondly of an Egyptian background. The way that she was portrayed in Batman -- even with such a small role that she had -- made her even more glamerous. Tim Burton made her true beauty show up more and more... ahhh... it's hard to believe that she was born in the 1950s.
I learned about life and death at a really young age. One of my ex bestfriends and I were going through an alleyway, and we saw this tiny, hairless bird on the ground near a wall. We both sat there for a minute, watching the tiny bird squeak and moan in pain. Eventually, I told my friend to get my mother, and I sat there watching the tiny bird attempt to stand up on its premature legs. My mom came out there with a shovel and scooped up the tiny paranoid bird and took it to a nest in the front of the house. My ex bestfriend and I watched this happen, and waiting on the front porch for the mother bird to come back. The mother never came back, and the tiny bird -- along with the mother bird's real babies -- died. I remember sitting there and crying over this, on how we killed innocent animals just by touching the tiny creature and thinking we were saving it's life.
She picked up the scissor like a loaded gun and aimed them gingerly
at her chestnut hair. Pulling the tangled mess to the blade, she sliced.
Watching the hair fall sweepingly to the floor she laughed......it was an
addicting feeling to watch her hair slowly get chopped away but she liked it.
It was like her soul was falling away.....it changed from just cutting her
locks to an artistic longing. An expression that was hers. She turned up the
music on her stereo. As she kept cutting she sang the lyrics loudly and
checked out her reflection. Her new reflection. She smiled in a daze and shook
her head to the music. Faster and faster she shook. Then she stopped to look
at the dead hair on the floor. All part of the old self. All part of the dead
ends that had once hung. She stepped on the hair and felt it go between her
naked toes. Then she sat against the wall and let the music consume her.
Wasn't that a lovely storm? I just sat there on my windowseat, watching the rain splatter against the window as if it were paint on a canvas... the rolling thunder was just an magnificent touch. It's an interesting sight outside now -- a peachy color sky. Sure, it may be gloomy over your way -- but over my way, it's magnificent. Maybe since I'm higher from the ground than you, but -- I don't know. It's a peachy-color... very gloomy, yet cheerful. I wish there was a color to describe it.
"If you died right now, how would you feel about your life?"
- Brad Pitt, Fight Club