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20000603
16:54;
She stepped into the shower, her naked breasts hitting the pumps of water against it. Steam arose from the floor. Too hot, but comfortable for the moment. Her skin fizzled as it had the sensation of melting from her skinny arms, her skinny legs, her skinny back. She looked upwards, as if the sensation she was feeling was going to take her away to a sexual extasy. And that's when it started.
She started crying. Her sobs were drowned out by the fizzing of the shower. After awhile, she could no longer tell which were her tears and which were the shower's. That's when she stopped. She licked a tear. And for some odd reason, everything suddenly felt much better. 20000602
09:57;
Please do me a favor and tell me about yourself. 20000601
22:51;
I had this dream last night -- it was weird. For some reason, He and my old art teacher, Mr., and these Kids were in this skyscraper that was on the edge of a marsh area. For some reason, Mr., Him, and Kids were all sitting at this large, gray table with Me. Suddenly, we hear this fire alarm and we all scramble. Eventually, He and Mr. and I get into this elevator (Don't ask why -- I know that the last place you should go in an emergency like a fire is on an elevator... not recommended.) and we start going up. Now down, but up. And then for some odd reason, we started going over, as if out of the building itself. We were on the same elevator, but it was somehow opened and connected by a metal bar that went over the marsh. Eventually, Mr., He, and I were in the marsh area, the elevator slipping and sliding over the water's smooth surface. As we were sitting there, some idea dawned on us -- why not look at what's underneath us? Mr. had a "special water gadget" and I looked at what was below us via the gadget. And there was 2 sunken boats under us, with living people in them.
And that's when I woke up.
10:39;
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding
- Papa Roach, "Last Resort" (Full Lyrics) 20000531
16:18;
The makeup smeared on her face. Bright pink lipstick covered her naturally chapped lips. Eyeliner marked over her eyeshape. Mascara widened her eyes. She looked at herself in the mirror, the mellow sounds of the Beatles harmonized in the background. With the same bright pink lipstick that covered her lips she wrote across her forehead: Loser. Each letter brightened against her reflection, and she smiled. She rubbed the mascara out of her eyes and smeared her lipstick onto her cheek. The Loser she was - the Loser she could not hide - still gleamed from her pimpled, teenaged forehead.
12:33;
Patsy and I made a list of things I plan to do before the end of summer. The list is as follows:
- Watch the sunset on the beach.
- Sleep under the stars.
- Dance in the rain.
- Go midnight bowling
- Watch a sunrise.
- Do a Chinese firedrill.
- Have a bonfire.
- Sleep on a golf field.
- Make mixed tapes.
- Ride in the back of a pickup truck.
- Write my name in the sand.
- Go hiking in the woods.
20000530
17:01;
You make me dizzy
Running circles in my head
One of these days I'll chase you down
Well look who's going crazy now
We're face to face my friend
- Foo Fighters, "Breakout" (Full Lyrics)
14:28;
Things get weird.
12:27;
You don't like to be pushed around, and you especially won't like it today. Someone could try to push all your buttons just to get a reaction. If you know this in advance, you'll be able to deflect the words you hear and temper your response. Review your own contributions to the relationship and ask yourself if you've added to the negativity. If necessary, connect with a supportive friend to vent your frustration.
20000529
17:38;
She would play drums. I would play bass, and Patsy would play guitar. We'd be Vonny, an all-girl, Brit-inspired punk/rock/pop band from the Southeastern United States. Indeed.
08:41;
I dyed my hair on Saturday. I figure that I forgot to mention that. It's currently similiar to this color, but it seems a lot was lost in the shower. But for some reason, not as much of my hair fell out this time.
20000528
18:53;
But we did nothing, absolutely nothing that day, and I say:
What the hell am I doing drinking in L.A. at 26?
I got the fever for the flavour, the payback will be later, still I need a fix.
- Bran Van 3000, "Drinking in LA" (Full Lyrics)
16:53;
Today is finally coming to an end. Yes, indeed.
She and Patsy spent the night. Around 10:00 last night, we all laid on my back deck on a big wooden table and stared at the Big Dipper above us. We talked about things until my dad escorted us inside since we "disturbed" him. Yeh. I'm sure. It was just so weird, because we had been arguing a lot at the end of the year -- or just not getting along, I don't know which. But it seemed to all fit together last night, under the stars, staring at the Big Dipper.
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